Parked like a T##T

T

The Son

Member
Location
Herefordshire
We have the church at the bottom of our road, and the school, so school times are a no go and we respect Sundays and services as much as possible, but the very worst are funerals, the church warden lets us know when they are on so we avoid large vehicles, but the mourners then trot of down the pub leaving their cars at the church for hours on end. There was a funeral at the beginning of the year and this happened, I drove through with the lorry and because it was wet the trailer slipped off the green sward and took out three cars, one quite badly. I went and told the owners what I had done and that because they had parked like tw*ts on private land it was their problem.
It must have got around because the parking is much more considerate since.
 
Tim G

Tim G

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Wormingford, Essex
A few years back now, but I was taking a 3m vaderstad drill through a neighbouring village, heading down a hill where the road is sort of cut in, so banks either side with houses on them. One guy was having his mates round (remember that?) and all were in the front garden having a Bbq and a row of cars parked down the hill making it a bit tight. I eased up making it clear I was going to struggle getting through and they all just stood and watched. I got passed the first car and then paused because the next was tighter, a few more looked round to see but no one wanted to move a car so I went for it. Just as I thought it was too tight and I hit the car, not hard, in fact it didn't do any damage, but the silly bugger whose car it was had clearly only given it one click on the hand brake and off she went down the hill into the back of the next one! Surprisingly a few guests where quite keen to move the remaining vehicles!
 
Fruitbat

Fruitbat

Member
BASIS
Location
Worcestershire
I found a car tucked behind a hedge in field when I went ploughing. Expecting "steamy windows" I gave it a bit of horn, but it was empty and no sign of anyone nearby so I just cracked on assuming by the time I got across the field it would be gone. Well it was still there as I was finishing, tried all the doors hoping I could get in and shove it out of the way. (this was mistake No.1 apparently). Fed up, I plough right up to it (mistake No.2) went back to the office and rang the local plod whinging about a car dumped in my field gave all the details and went back out to lock the gate. Here I was met by the cast of Juliet Bravo. Turns out the car had been knicked from a local village with a bit of violence and they thought it had been dumped there to collect later, except I'd trapped it in, put my prints all over every handle and burried any fag ends or evidence 6" deep. I did offer to help them drag it out with a chain but the offer was declined as they had one of their recovery experts coming, which when he arrived the first thing he did was ask me to drag it out. At this point I went home and told them to snap the lock shut on the gate.

FB
 
possumbility

possumbility

Member
Location
mid lincolnshire
hedge cutting i came across a cadillac in a gateway with a pair of white buttocks rising and falling, Ilifted the flails over it and carried on.
The only Cadillac owner in our area was my locals landlord suffice to say my first drink every night was free until unfortunately six months later his wife found out.
 
Tarw Coch

Tarw Coch

Member
Location
Bottom of Wats Dyke
steveR said:
That's one of the few advantages of getting old I reckon from seeing my late Uncle in action on the road! ;)
Click to expand...
Dads 92 and has dimentia but living at home.
I have a female worker who’s like part of the family, meals at the kitchen table and very good with dad.
One day dad was sitting at the kitchen table just starring at his dinner, she offered to cut his meat up for him and was standing by his side doing so, I was sitting opposite taking practically no notice.
All of a sudden she gave a bit of a shriek and a jump, I looked up to see dad with a big grin on his face.
What did you do then I cheekily asked..........knowing exactly what he’d done.
You ought to try it some time came his reply, still grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

I suspect if I do try it I’ll get a battering and be milking my own cows from then on.
 
steveR

steveR

Member
Mixed Farmer
Location
Gods own County, Shropshire of course
Tarw Coch said:
Dads 92 and has dimentia but living at home.
I have a female worker who’s like part of the family, meals at the kitchen table and very good with dad.
One day dad was sitting at the kitchen table just starring at his dinner, she offered to cut his meat up for him and was standing by his side doing so, I was sitting opposite taking practically no notice.
All of a sudden she gave a bit of a shriek and a jump, I looked up to see dad with a big grin on his face.
What did you do then I cheekily asked..........knowing exactly what he’d done.
You ought to try it some time came his reply, still grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

I suspect if I do try it I’ll get a battering and be milking my own cows from then on.
Click to expand...

Cue Benny Hill music.......
 
Two Tone

Two Tone

Member
Mixed Farmer
Location
Moreton-in-Marsh, Glos
Llanman said:
The one that makes me chuckle even now after 35+ years was the time I went to mow a field probably for hay in those days, anyway this field has a short track about 25-30 yds to the gate
and was quite popular with young couples if you know what I mean ( and still is).
So I turn in with the old Zetor and km22 mower to find this car parked by the gate so I keep going until the front of the tractor is probably only a few feet from the car and yes in the back seat there was a couple in a very passionate embrace shall we say,
I was probably parked there for a fair few seconds before they realised they had company so then I did the decent thing and reversed back onto the road,
the gentleman shot out of the back and into the driving seat wearing nothing but a smile and clutching a few clothes reversed like a bat out of hell out into the road and thats when I realised bloody hell its the vicar, never recognised the lady he was ministering to as she buried her face in a pile of clothes but it was definitely was not his wife. I dont think he had recognised me because it would bring a smile to my face for years after when down in the village I would see him being the upstanding pillar of society chatting to his parishioners.
Anyway the ones that annoy me are the ones that use passing places as labys and just wander off with there dogs, bikes or whatever.
Click to expand...
We had a similar situation when I farmed in Suffolk. Right on a bend of a single track road was a concreted entrance to a field. Several times we noticed a Rolls Royce parked in it With the windows all steamed up. It was obviously a rendezvous point, but surprisingly the other vehicle was a moped!

Since then the entrance to that field have always been known as Condom Corner!
 
T

traineefarmer

Member
Mixed Farmer
Location
Mid Norfolk
JP1 said:
We don't know all the circumstances but if it was a field gateway in a snow storm and it meant the vehicle wasn't in a dangerous position ON the lane, perhaps it was

Maybe he was a hospital doctor still trying to get to work

So many "heroes" on here with tractors and 4x4 at their disposal, as I said (and none of us know the full facts) it was stated it was during the Beast from the East and the OP wanted to tractor some muck away
Click to expand...

Save your sympathies. He was the night manager at the local Tesco's!

On a serious note, it is an offence and you can receive a ticket for parking across a dropped kerb access on an urban street so why is our property less important?
 
milkloss

milkloss

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
East Sussex
JP1 said:
We don't know all the circumstances but if it was a field gateway in a snow storm and it meant the vehicle wasn't in a dangerous position ON the lane, perhaps it was

Maybe he was a hospital doctor still trying to get to work

So many "heroes" on here with tractors and 4x4 at their disposal, as I said (and none of us know the full facts) it was stated it was during the Beast from the East and the OP wanted to tractor some muck away
Click to expand...

A note left in the window wouldn't hurt if they've got to leave their car in a stupid place.
 
7

7610 super q

Never Forgotten
Honorary Member
Way off topic, but how much snow can a 4x4 / pickup handle ? Always assumed bumper height would be the limit ? Once snow packs up underneath it's surely game over ?
 
Highland Mule

Highland Mule

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Scottish Highlands
7610 super q said:
Way off topic, but how much snow can a 4x4 / pickup handle ? Always assumed bumper height would be the limit ? Once snow packs up underneath it's surely game over ?
Click to expand...

Ex BIL had a Subaru Justy and reckoned that the snow drifts would split at the windscreen, after running over the bonnet. Personally, I have parked up my old Xtrail and felt resistance when opening the door, so that would have been well above the sills. The Xtrail was on Grabber AT2s latterly, which were as good as I needed at the time. Now, I tend to run a slightly less aggressive pattern for fuel consumption reasons but with a lower temperature rubber.
 
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