Family issues....keep the peace?

[Sharpy]

I think it may be a good idea to have an "outsider" sit in when you speak to Mr X as a "responsible adult" in much the same way as the Police do when interviewing a "vulnerable person"

Having a third party sit in will protect both of you -Mr X from being bullied by you (as he may claim) and you from later claims by Mr X about what you said/did. The third party will be able to confirm to everyone afterwards what was said by both sides.

Would it be a good idea to film and record this meeting so no possibility of "inaccurate recollection "?

 

[goodevans]

Would it be a good idea to film and record this meeting so no possibility of "inaccurate recollection "?

I thought you meant to put on tic tok

 

[Chae1]

I wondered if this thread was about me.

 

[Will Wilson]

Bit of a curveball - have you asked him what he wants? You might find he wants to be left alone to do X Y or Z (but no one has ever asked him and he is scared to ask himself), get it in writing as a job description - you could then tailor a part of the business to meet these tasks which removes him from other areas?

 

[Overby]

Bit of a curveball - have you asked him what he wants? You might find he wants to be left alone to do X Y or Z (but no one has ever asked him and he is scared to ask himself), get it in writing as a job description - you could then tailor a part of the business to meet these tasks which removes him from other areas?

He wants to do whatever takes his fancy at any given minute, preferably after 5 or at a weekend, and everybody to do it with him. Common sense and compromise do not exist.

 

[tepapa]

He wants to do whatever takes his fancy at any given minute, preferably after 5 or at a weekend, and everybody to do it with him. Common sense and compromise do not exist.

Can you explain how he's involved in the business? Is it just that he was a son of a previous generation but due to his issues has been allowed to help around to keep an eye on him but has no financial stake? So turns up and does what he pleases?
Or has he more of an investment as an heir and a proportion of the land/business is on their name so are financially involved?

 

[Landrover]

He wants to do whatever takes his fancy at any given minute, preferably after 5 or at a weekend, and everybody to do it with him. Common sense and compromise do not exist.

Sounds like a few people nearby to me !

 

[Overby]

D Day approaches.

We are going to approach those nearest to Mr X stating that we need a resolution and are determined to finally sort it, but are concerned how he will react. Whilst we are concerned with his reaction (ie harm himself or others) we are not pandering to him anymore. We will be sympathetic but if we get his usual reaction then all cards are on the table, which has never happened before.

I think he will explode, in a huge tantrum, as is his way, his arrogance is such that he thinks he can carry on as he likes and nobody will dare 'bring up the truth'. At least when he does explode the rest have been sympathetically warned and there can be no more denials.

Once this is over I may be able to fill you in on some specifics, or write that book.....

I will keep you all updated.

 

[melted welly]

D Day approaches.

We are going to approach those nearest to Mr X stating that we need a resolution and are determined to finally sort it, but are concerned how he will react. Whilst we are concerned with his reaction (ie harm himself or others) we are not pandering to him anymore. We will be sympathetic but if we get his usual reaction then all cards are on the table, which has never happened before.

I think he will explode, in a huge tantrum, as is his way, his arrogance is such that he thinks he can carry on as he likes and nobody will dare 'bring up the truth'. At least when he does explode the rest have been sympathetically warned and there can be no more denials.

Once this is over I may be able to fill you in on some specifics, or write that book.....

I will keep you all updated.

Good luck

 

[Lofty1984]

Just keep reminding yourself of the huge weight that will be lifted off your shoulders once you’ve done it good luck

 

[Landrover]

Good luck, in a similar situation but not quite as bad, some difficult conversations to have

 

[steveR]

D Day approaches.

We are going to approach those nearest to Mr X stating that we need a resolution and are determined to finally sort it, but are concerned how he will react. Whilst we are concerned with his reaction (ie harm himself or others) we are not pandering to him anymore. We will be sympathetic but if we get his usual reaction then all cards are on the table, which has never happened before.

I think he will explode, in a huge tantrum, as is his way, his arrogance is such that he thinks he can carry on as he likes and nobody will dare 'bring up the truth'. At least when he does explode the rest have been sympathetically warned and there can be no more denials.

Once this is over I may be able to fill you in on some specifics, or write that book.....

I will keep you all updated.

Best of luck.

Put down in writing, almost like an Agenda, what needs to be said at the meeting.

Pass the notes to any other parties at the meeting (and possibly have a copy for Mr X)

Keep notes, or as someone said, record the meeting, to protect both sides

 

[chipchap]

A narcissist I suspect.

Very toxic people, that do no wrong in their own eyes. Everything is somebody else’s fault.

Good luck.

 

[Lazy Sod]

Make an audio recording of the meeting as well perhaps.

 

[Overby]

For you lot to listen to?

 

[Old Tup]

For you lot to listen to?

Solicitor…..present.
Costs money…but puts an end to any future disputes about what was and was not said.
Also removes some of the personal mental pressure that whoever is identified as starting the ball rolling.
Whatever is to be done, it is as well to be legally prepared.
Good Luck…

 

[Kidds]

For you lot to listen to?

Any chance of a live feed?

 

[tepapa]

For you lot to listen to?

For when you write the book, so you don't forget any juicy bits.

 

[Overby]

Any chance of a live feed?

You'll want to record it....some of the stuff I have ready to drop is absolute dynamite.....you'll be playing it back over and over in disbelief

 

[Mc115reed]

Recording it and playing it back too him when he’s calmed down is probably one the best things you could do I’d imagine… I know if I seen some things I’d done in the past watched back I’d be horrified